What I Learned in my First Year of Marriage (2019)

Whether your first year of marriage tested everything you have or was a walk in the park, the first 365 days is a learning experience for all newlyweds. I am by no means a pro, but I have learned a few things in the last year as a new spouse (and still have a lot to learn!). Here’s what I learned in my first year of being a wife.

1. Being called someone’s wife is WEIRD: It feels so strange and so awesome at the same time! Whether I was filling out paperwork or being introduced to a new person, being called “Mrs.” or “my wife” takes time to get used to it, but it’s a great feeling. And yes, I had to ask for new forms multiple times as I still sometimes write my maiden name.

2. Be prepared to get asked A LOT if and when you are having kids: We love kids and want a big family someday . . just not quite yet. We are taking our time to enjoy our new married life.

3. Get a bath mat IMMEDIATELY: No one likes soaking their socks in the morning from leftover shower water on the floor.

4. We express love in different ways: I really enjoyed taking “The 5 Love Languages” quiz to help us better understand how we feel and express love, whether that is by words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time, or physical touch. If you haven’t taken this quiz with your spouse yet, I highly encourage it! We should always be wanting to learn more about our spouse and marriage.

5. Continue to learn about yourself: My husband is a nurse, so for three days a week, I am home alone for 12-14 hours. I work part-time from home, so I have needed to find ways to keep myself occupied. To my surprise, cooking has become one of my favorite past times. I lived in a college dorm for four years, so experimenting in my own kitchen has brought me joy and helped me relax. (And I have turned on the wrong burner wondering why my food isn’t cooking only a handful of times.)

6. We process situations differently, and that’s ok: I am a visual person, so I make notes, pros/cons lists, and research to help me solve a problem. My husband heads to the gym to workout for a few hours to contemplate and strategize. We process challenges differently but share our opinions, likes/dislikes, and strategies with one another.

7. Problem solve together: This past Christmas was the hardest Christmas for both of us. It was our first Christmas away from family and friends. We were supposed to skype our family Christmas morning to open gifts together, but of course, we had no internet (which was also stressing us out because I work from home as a teacher). We started off Christmas frustrated and worried. But we worked together trying to find a solution. We loaded our gifts and our Boston Terrier (because she is part of our family) into our car, drove down the street to our gym, and sat in the back mooching off our gym’s wifi so we could skype our families and have a virtual Christmas. We are learning to embrace unplanned adventures that life throws our way. Christmas 2019 will always be memorable!

8. Create your own traditions: His family watches the most Christmasy-Christmas movie ever created -Die Hard! My family hides a pickle ornament in the tree Christmas morning and has the “big kids” race to find it, and the winner gets an additional gift. We have carried on these traditions since getting married but have also created new ones of our own. Every Christmas Eve we camp out by our Christmas tree to watch the series finale of Avatar: The Last Airbender while wearing our favorite pj onesies (definitely nerding out!). I think it is important to combine and create traditions that express who you are as a couple and as a family.

These are a few of the lessons I have learned in my first year of being a wife. One of the greatest things of being a wife is that I will be constantly learning about my hubby and our marriage.

Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, and Happy New Year from my family to yours!

Enjoy this photo of us opening gifts in the back of our car Christmas morning while skyping our family back home. Also, I swear our dog had a good Christmas. She is just mad we wouldn’t give her anymore treats, because she already had three.